#prof

Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially.

A student once told me the Big Bang was a lie, just like evolution. Then he asked me what my sign was. I'm just a prof. I can't fix stupid.

*at hostage negotiation class Prof: Let's go around and say why we're here Man: I joined the NYPD Woman: I'm in the FBI Me: I have a toddler

"I got expelled" How? "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard" Ok that's dumb but- "So my prof told me to go back up there..." Oh no "and rub 1 out"

Difficult essay exam One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10 minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test. The student asked, ""D…

Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments.

My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem

My computer architecture prof. dropped this After speaking about CPU design for about an hour he asks:-Do you understand or it is too hard? Class:-It is too hard. Prof:-Well it is called HARDware for a reason.

Which tire was flat? Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time. Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam l…

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your place! Knock knock Who's there? Bak bak My chemistry prof said that one today

What do you call an economics lecturer? Prof. it

Soderling the star college halfback was taking a math exam. The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam. ""All right"" said the prof. ""How many degrees are there in a circle?"" ""Uh depends"" said the boy. ""How big is that there circle?""

Stats joke.. Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut…

A Russian university valedictorian (from my Russian history prof) A valedictorian at a Russian university was giving his graduation speech. As a finale, the Party Secretary who was in attendance asked the young man two rehearsed questions: "Who is your mother?" "The Party," the young man replied. "And who is your father?" the Party Secretary asked next. "Lenin," the valedictorian said. Then, unrehearsed, the Party Secretary asked a third question: "And what do you want to be when you grow u…

The Final Exam A group of college buddies were about to graduate, and near the end of their exams, they decided to live it up on the weekend, so they took a little roadtrip to a resort town nearby. They laughed, they hit on cute girls, they partied hard. They had a final exam Monday morning, so late Sunday night they packed it up and drove home. Monday morning rolls around, and they all sleep in, and miss the exam. When they wake up, phone calls are made, and they decide that they will tell the…

Joke from my sociology prof "I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing... unless you're at a funeral

4 college students are having a great time on spring break. So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back". The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point". So the students l…

Prof to the student: Did you study geography? Student: Yes sir.

Talking about the American Dream in a college class and the prof asks: To a student from Germany

Oral Exam Two blondes failed math class and have to take an oral exam with the professor. The prof asks the first blonde:

Joke from my sociology prof ""I'm sorry"" and ""my bad"" mean the same thing...

How did the prof get the latin college girl pregnant?,"He asked her to do an essay. [Also I'm latin]

How did the prof get the latin college girl pregnant? He asked her to do an essay. [Also, I'm latin]