Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments.

My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.