A student once told me the Big Bang was a lie, just like evolution. Then he asked me what my sign was. I'm just a prof. I can't fix stupid.

Difficult essay exam One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10 minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test. The student asked, ""D…

Which tire was flat? Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time. Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam l…

Soderling the star college halfback was taking a math exam. The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam. ""All right"" said the prof. ""How many degrees are there in a circle?"" ""Uh depends"" said the boy. ""How big is that there circle?""