#nixon

Why is Nixon a bad chef? Because he is not a cook.

Nixon had to be photographed at an angle to make him appear upright. One of the drawbacks of him having a list.

Hurricanes should be named after worst dictators and world leaders So we could have a proper idea of how much damage they can cause example: Hurricane Hitler. Hurricane Kim Jong ill. Hurricane Bush. Hurricane Nixon.

In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know. It's 1969. China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day. Well, so thinks Richard Nixon. See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he was determined that the pope, and only the pope, could broker a deal between two hostile nations. If you've not seen *The Shoes of…

Nixon meets Chairman Mao Nixon met Chairman Mao and was watching a martial arts demonstration when Chairman Mao told President Nixon that his Chinese bodyguards would use their bodies to block bullets to save his life. Nixon replied that his Secret Service would do the same. Chairman Mao answered, yes, but yours wear bullet-proof vests!

Nixon's New Restaurant An American man is driving along the road from work eager to try a cheeseburger from Richard Nixon's newly established restaurant. As he walks into ""Nixon Burger"", he orders a regular hamburger, and without hesitation takes a big delicious bite out of it. However, highly dissatisfied with his meal, he marches straight to the front desk demanding to speak with the manager who is in fact Nixon himself. As Nixon steps forward, the man confronts him and complains that the bu…

The new Hollywood realism Noted Hollywood film maker Oliver Stone has made many R-rated movies including JFK and Nixon. However as he has aged he has mellowed and now proposes to make a G-rated movie which Moms with small children will feel comfortable attending. Title: Clinton

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway? Because he always took the low road.

Clinton on the Titanic Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly. Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc. Reagan shouts: "Women and children first." Nixon goes: "Screw the women!" Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"

The orange man in hell Some time in the future Donald J Trump has moved on and like most presidents finds himself in Hell. The Devil greets him, and said he can choose his torment for all eternity. He takes him to a room, and there is Gerald Ford, he is smashing rocks with a hammer. Each time he reduces a boulder to pebbles, another boulder is before him Trump says, “I don’t think I can do this forever, I have a bad shoulder”. The Devil takes him to the next room. There, Richard Nixon …

Comparing Nixon to Trump isn't fair... It's apples and orange.

In US Presidential History: Washington could not tell a lie Nixon could not tell a truth...

You know what Nixon did wrong?,"He only broke into the watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it jokes on you.

You know what Nixon did wrong? He only broke into the watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it, jokes on you.