Nixon's New Restaurant An American man is driving along the road from work eager to try a cheeseburger from Richard Nixon's newly established restaurant. As he walks into ""Nixon Burger"", he orders a regular hamburger, and without hesitation takes a big delicious bite out of it. However, highly dissatisfied with his meal, he marches straight to the front desk demanding to speak with the manager who is in fact Nixon himself. As Nixon steps forward, the man confronts him and complains that the burger he ate was the foulest thing he's ever had. Nixon rolls his eyes to the man and makes a frustrated sigh, finally uttering ""I am NOT a cook""