#lieutenant

The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

Military Humor I had to translate. You can help me fix it. Lieutenant Colonel to Major: “There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won’t be able to see it anyway, assemble everyone in the gymnasium.” Major to Captain: “Per Colonel’s order, tomorrow at 9am there will be ceremonial solar eclipse. If there is a need for rain, Lieutenant Colonel will…

normally don't like longer jokes but, this is funny A US Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening in port, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy, influential plantation owner (who also happened to be a very generous political donor). It read: "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like for you to send four (4) well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their full formal d…

Soviet joke Three men have to share a hotel room in Chelyabinsk during a congress. Naturally, in the evening, they start drinking. One thing leads to another, and they find themselves telling political jokes. Concerns that any of the others may be KGB informants or that the room may be bugged are readily dissolved in alcohol. Everybody is having a great time. One is tired and really feels like sleeping; he decides to pull a joke on the others. He excuses himself, runs to the lobby and gives th…

Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner