#new

[first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty

An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet... It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code. Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, formal pants, and a tasteful bowtie; However, once again, the bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Barack Obama and his entourage…

They say in New York somebody gets stabbed every 15 minutes, poor bastard.

normally don't like longer jokes but, this is funny A US Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening in port, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy, influential plantation owner (who also happened to be a very generous political donor). It read: "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like for you to send four (4) well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their full formal d…

Teacher: “Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?” Pupil: “Because it can't sit down!”