#jimmy-carter

Old Russian Joke as told by one of my college professors who was Russian. Had a professor in college who was one of Gorbachev's and later one of 21 economic advisers under Yeltsin. He used to tell us these sort or stale Russian jokes that I always got a kick out of. Here is one of them: Jimmy Carter and Brezhnev were having a deep philosophical discussion comparing the freedoms of the west to the iron clad fist rule of Russian Communism. Jimmy Carter said ""you know, in our country we have prote…

What do Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad have in common? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

What did Jimmy Carter say to Ronald Reagan? Let me Eat your Turds !! Lol !!

An older Russian joke, feel free to swap the leaders' names Leonid Brezhnev is visiting Jimmy Carter in Washington DC. Upon arriving in the oval office he is surprised by the luxury and asks: ""The Soviet people would love to know how can your government afford such niceties in the middle on an oil crisis."" Carter responds with ""Walk to the window with me. Do you see that bridge in the distance?"" ""Sure"" ""When we set out to build it, we had a budget of 100 million dollars. Through clever ma…

Why was Jimmy Carter like the LIRR (Long Island Railroad)? He used to pull out of Rosalynn at 5AM every morning. **For the low-information jokesters here: Carter's wife's first name is Rosalynn, and Roslyn is a stop on the LIRR.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' -- Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain The s…

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter? They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

How do you cure aids? You put it into world leaders. Note - This is an old joke I've heard when I was a kid, but seeing how Jimmy Carter was cured by a drug that was just released recently, it feels like a sad reality.

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow.

How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

Why does Jimmy Carter swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry.