#doug

Doug comes home very drunk one night... He sneaks upstairs to his bedroom and passes out next to his wife, Shirley. All of a sudden, his room fills with a bright light and hovering over the foot of the bed is an angel. Doug is very frightened and has no idea what is going on. The angel says, "Doug, don't be afraid. I am come to tell you that you are dead. You died of alcohol poisoning." Doug is upset, scared, saddened, everything all at once. "Dead? I never even got to say goodbye to my…

A man walks into a bar with an octopus under it's arm ... They make their way up to the bar where the man sets the octopus down on a stool. The bartender (Doug) says "Damn, not another one. Ok, what can your animal do?" Steve replies "You get a lot of talented animals do you? Well, Gropey can play any musical instrument known to man" Doug says, "Ok, let's see a sample of what he's got, and we'll make a deal" Steve turns to Gropey, points to the piano across the room, and simply says "Play".…

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter... Dear Ma & Pa, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed …

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug

what are some of your favorite play-on-name jokes?,"i don't really have any favorites just looking to hear some... like what do you call a guy with a shovel? doug.

what are some of your favorite play-on-name jokes? i don't really have any favorites, just looking to hear some... like what do you call a guy with a shovel? doug.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug.

Teacher: “I am young and beautiful. Doug, tell what tense it is.” Doug: “Past tense madam!”

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. Doug suggests, "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" "But what if my wife finds out?" asks Bill. "Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!" said Doug. So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it" said his wife, "I've tried that. It didn't work!"