#clark-kent

[date] Clark Kent: I propose a toast *they take their glasses off the table* Lois Lane: omg it's Supertable!

*Clark Kent leaves his glasses on the coffeemaker at work* Lois: Anyone see the coffeemaker? You, with the glasses...seen the coffeemaker?

Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can't find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire.

*school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm

Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No

Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?

Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman

*Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"

Man of Steel question. When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be? Liberace?

WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it...

LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no

So Clark Kent is walking around with a giant cape bunched up under his dress shirt? I feel weird when I wear an undershirt.

Clark Kent "I have a confession" Lois Lane "what is it?" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois "Is it a bird?" Clark "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"

Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me. Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you? Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?

Superman can save the world but Clark Kent

Clerk Kent is in fact Superman... So my mom tells me stop hanging with your friends who are always drunk! They are not a good company! How should i tell her that... ""Clark Kent is in fact Superman""

If I can, and you can why Clark Kent?

Batman can safe the world ,but clark kent

A Puerto Rican and a white guy were standing on a tenement roof. The white guy turned to the Puerto Rican and said, ""The updrafts on the side of the building are terrific. Watch."" The white guy jumped off the side of the building, fell to within a meter of the sidewalk and floated back up, landing on his feet on top of the building. The Puerto Rican was so impressed he decided to try it. He took a flying leap off the side and a few seconds later splattered all over the sidewalk below. Two cops…

On the top floor of a hotel, there was a panorama bar... ...and two men were each enjoying a quiet drink. One of them asks the other: ""What are you drinking?"" The other replies: ""Scotch, single malt. It's pretty good."" Then the first man says ""You should really try out this bourbon right here - two shots of these, and you can do anything."" The second man wasn't convinced, so it was up to the first man to prove it. He swallowed his drink, went over to the window and jumped out fell all the …

Superman graffitis a wall: ""Batman is a moron"" Batman writes under that, ""Superman is Clark Kent"".

what does clark kent have for breakfast? alter-eggos

I hear Clark Kent is quite the overprotective father. His children are under constant supervision. Edit: I don't know why the 'dirty' tag appeared. I thought they were added randomly as a, well, as a joke.

New glasses "New glasses? They look super, man!" Clark Kent begins to sweat.

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him. After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.” “You don’t need to worry about that because,” Clark said as he took off his glasses, “I am Superman! Even if you didn’t know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.” “Oh thank God!” said Lois. “ I can’t tell you what a wei…