#who

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a Red Belly Black Snake. ""I'll go into town for a doctor,"" the other says. He runs ten kays to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby. ""I can't leave,"" the doctor says. But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground and your mate will survive.."" The guy runs back to his friend, who is by now close to death and in ago…

A doctor and a lawyer collide in traffic During the afternoon commute, a doctor and a lawyer collide, and go hurtling off the road into the ditch. Both emerge unhurt but badly shaken up. The lawyer says, ""Are you okay?"" The badly rattled doctor replies, ""Yes, I think so. I'm a doctor & I can tell nothing's broken."" The lawyer pulls out a hip flask and offers it to the doctor. ""You look like death warmed over; have a swig of this to steady your nerves."" ""Thanks,"" says the doctor, who …

Clitoris Like Mellon At a gynecologists convention Dr. Goldfinger began to read his paper on ""The Variation of the Clitoris"". ""One of the most unusual cases I ever came across,"" he told his audience, ""was a clitoris that had a close resemblance to a watermelon."" Dr. Goldfinger was interrupted by another doctor, who said that he might have been examining an enlarged organ but to compare it to a watermelon would indeed be frivolous. Goldfinger stared him down and replied: ""I wasn't referrin…

A boy I teach told the class this one. A man told his son to go chop the wood, so his son goes out and after a while ends up chopping off his finger. His dad puts the finger in a bag and takes him to the doctor. The doctor sews the finger back on and it heals just fine. The dad tells his son to go chop the wood again, and this time the boy chops off his foot. The dad puts the foot in a bag and takes him to the doctor, who successfully reattaches the foot. The dad tells his son to go chop the woo…

Easy For You A man isn't feeling well. He goes to the doctor, who gives him a checkup and then says ""I don't know how to break the news to you, but you have a incurable, fatal condition and you have less 24 hours to live!"" The man goes home and explains to wife about his condition. The have dinner, spend their usual evening at home, and then go to bed. Sometime after midnight, he nudges his wife and wakes her. ""Honey,"" he says. ""These are my last few hours on earth and I can't sleep. What t…

A man is sick and goes to see a doctor... The first doctor he goes to is Caucasian. The doctor gives the man his diagnosis and the man leaves. The man then goes to another doctor. This second doctor, who happens to be asian, gives the man a completely different diagnosis. So which diagnosis is correct? Easy. One is white and one is wong.

Euler is sitting on the pooper when... His stomach starts to feel a little stranger than normal and his bowels are coming out irregularly. The next day, he goes to see his doctor, who suggests he change his posture so that he squats while he does his business. When Euler gets home, he goes to try out this new method. To his surprise, his feces comes out smoothly and without any problem. Excited by this new stressless way of going to the john, he quickly finishes his business and as he leaves the…

Three men in prison are about to be executed. There are three men standing in a prison yard, about to be executed for their crimes. They are offered a choice in execution style; beheading via guillotine, death by firing squad or an injection of HIV. The first man chooses beheading. He's led to the guillotine by the guards, positioned, and executed. Blood sprays everywhere and his head goes rolling across the yard. Horrified by what he's just seen, the second man chooses to be shot. The guards le…

A woman went to the doctor, who examined her. He said, You have a bad back. The woman said, I want a second opinion. The doctor said, All right! You're ugly as well.

Two campers are hiking in the woods . . . One is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other one says. He runs ten miles to the nearest town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, then spit it out." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "H…

[Dad joke] A man would experience severe pain in his eye every time he drank tea He went to his doctor, who referred him to an eye specialist. They performed every test possible, but found nothing wrong with his eye. Since the pain was still persistent, he showed a number of specialists, had every test done on him, consulted quacks, and all to no result. He still felt excruciating pain whenever he had tea. Finally, he decides to visit an old sage. The sage sits him down and pours him some tea.…

An English couple have a child After the birth, medical tests reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop normally. It can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never speaks. The concerned parents take it to the doctor, who reassures them that as…

The German Child An English couple adopt a child. After the adoption, the adoption agency officials reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop normally. It can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never speaks. The concerned parents take it to …

A small boy was playing with a balloon around the house, flicking it in the air with his hand. His mother told him to stop in case he broke an ornament, but he paid no attention. Finally after incessant nagging, he stopped. "Right," she said, "I'm just going to the shop for some groceries. I'll only be twenty minutes, so I want you to stay here and behave yourself." As soon as she was gone, he started playing with the balloon again, flicking it from room to room until, to his dismay, it landed i…

A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...