#stephen

Stephen is a much nicer name than "hen from a previous marriage."

When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.

Marriage counsellor: What's the problem? Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad. MC: And how do you feel, Stephen? Me: With my hands.

Whenever a guy named Stephen tries to tell me what to do I shout, "you're not my real hen!" and run away

Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence.

My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos.

I stole Stephen Hawking's wheelchair today I thought it was hilarious, he had nothing to say on the matter.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His left shoulder

My brother just finished his doctorals So he went to Starbucks to celebrate. The cashier said. ""What would you like sir?"" ""I would like an espresso please"" my brother replied. ""Okay sir, I just need your name."" The cashier said. ""It's Stephen"" My brother replied. ""With a 'ph'?"" The cashier asked. My brother then replied. ""No, it's Stephen, with a PhD""

Stephen Harper's Campaign Against Trump ""Donald Trump: He's just too old""

Whenever a guy named Stephen tells me what to do, I like to yell, ""you're not my real hen!"" and run away...

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady? but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?

Buying Brains This joke takes place in the very distant future, so distant that shops exist where ordinary people can walk in and buy the brains of famous people from the past. Three guys walk into one such shop and begin to look around. The first guy spots Michael Jackson's brain on the shelf, so he asks the cashier ""Hey, I see Michael Jackson's brain up here. How much do you want for it?"" The cashier says ""How about 25 thousand?"" The guy pays accordingly and walks out with Michael Jackson'…

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election? They though it was Riel funny!

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

Which would you chose and why? Fight Ridley Scott's aliens for six hours in a place of Stephen kings choosing or fly duck taped to the bottom of a low flying plane while under the influence of bath salts/acid (you choose) for the same amount of time?

Stephen Hawking's favourite videogame? Flappy birds

Have you seen the new Stephen Hawking's movie? They say it's too good you won't be able to move from your seat the entire film.

It's taken me ages... ...but I've finally finished reading Stephen Hawking's book. It's about time.

Extreme Home Makeover just finished building Stephen Hawking a House So he croaks: Move that bus!! He is greeted by the sight of long sets of spiraling stairways leading up a hill to his mansion. STARS, you IDIOTS, I said I was really into STARS!!

I see the same homeless man scribbling furiously in a notebook every day on my way to work. This morning I stopped to ask him his story. ""I am Stephen King's older brother,"" he said. ""He stole the ideas for all of his novels from me."" I replied, ""Surely you must be Joe.""

Two friends have a bet over who knows more people Two friends, Stephen and James, have an argument over who knows more people. Stephen says: "Well, that's a freebie - I'm bowling buddies with the mayor and know more than half of the town council, and I went to university with that one girl from that soap opera." James: "Yeah, but I bet you don't know the state government." Stephen: What? How would y-- nonsense, you don't know them, least of all the governor." James: "Let's drive to the state c…

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His shoulder. One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry

Did you hear? After years of waiting, Stephen Hawking’s final paper on Space got published! And it’s about time, too!

I finally got around to reading Stephen Hawkins’s last book. It was about time.