#stephen-hawking

Stephen Hawking calculates the properties of the universe from a wheelchair and I'm googling how to get paid without leaving my house

Siri does the best Stephen Hawking impression.

"How much for this remote controlled alien?" "Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."

On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came.

Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence.

"Have they tried turning him off and then on again?" - Me, suggesting a cure for Stephen Hawking.

I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he'd picked up every time.

The Mathematician from Brooklyn A mathematician hailing from Brooklyn, NY gets invited to the annual conference for mathematics, statistics and logic. Upon arriving, he notices that a world-renown professor is hosting what was listed as ""The Unbeatable Brain-Teaser"". He decides to sign up, and gets in the single-file line for a one-on-one chance to attempt to solve the professor's riddle. Once inside the conference room, the Brooklyn man is told that he will be faced with a 3-part riddle. The …

Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes, But I dont think he could do standup

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar haha just kidding

Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.

Knowledge is Power They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.

Where did Stephen Hawking find his wife The vegetable isle

A man falls off a boat in a storm and washes up on a deserted beach where he finds a lamp sticking out of the sand. Figuring ""Why the hell not?"" the man rubs the lamp and sure enough out pops this super hot female genie. The man can't believe his incredible luck. ""Greetings, Master,"" she says. ""I will grant you whatever you wish, whether it is incredible wealth, love, long life, or all these things. Just know there are two rules."" ""Rule one: I am very generous. There is no need to wish fo…

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables? Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking wrote another book, It's about time.

Stephen Hawking seems to be a very emotional person He is even moved by his chair

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar Just kidding

[Poor Taste] What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

""I can't stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates."" --Stephen Hawking

Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking? Parkinson's

Why cant Stephen Hawking put on a comedy show? Because he cant do stand-up

I tripped in front of Stephen Hawking. He lol'd.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady? We would never know cuz he cant stand up