A bear walks into a bar... He ambles up to the counter, and asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey.   The bartender looks back at him. ""Sorry, but we don't serve wild animals here"".   A bit pissed, the bear reaches out with a paw and tears the leg off of a table. ""I said, I want a shot of whiskey."" it growls.   ""I really am sorry, but we can't serve wild animals alcohol in here, sir."" the bartender replies, picking up a beer stein and polishing the rim. &nb

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A thousand humans are abducted... To be sold as slaves to alien buyers. An unassuming alien approaches the slave market and asks to see their stock. The merchant happily complies. ""James Walker,"" the merchant begins, ""Male Caucasian. Hard worker, father of five, very high stamina. Only 500 credits."" The buyer says no, asking for something more cost-effective. ""Very well. Herschel Stein. Male Hebrew. Circumcised. Financial genius. Only 500 credits."" The buyer thinks about it, then turns him

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Five Men Walk Into A Bar... The Irishman turns to the Bartender and says ""I'll have a Pint of Guinness."" The Brit turns to the Bartender and says ""I'll have a Gin and Tonic."" The Frenchman turns to the Bartender and says ""I'll have a Glass of Wine."" The German turns to the Bartender and says ""I'll have a Stein of Lager"" The Bartender brings them all their drinks, then turns to the last man and asks what he wants. The Australian turns to the Bartender and says ""I'll have two of whatever

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Three elderly men are sitting in an empty bar, swapping stories about getting old. The first old man says,""My mind is going, I tell you. My kids come over, and I can remember their faces, but I forget all of their names..."" and clangs his beer glass on the bar. The second old man says,""Tell me about it! Why, I can remember all of my kids' names, but I always forget their faces..."" and slams his whiskey glass on the bar. The third old man bursts into laughter, knocking his stein back and fort

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