#second-mans

An optometrist was preparing an arranged marriage... An optometrist was preparing an arranged marriage for his 18 year old daughter and needed to find a suitable husband. His daughter was extremely beautiful and has had many men across the world ask for her hand in marriage and her father began seeing which of these men would suit her. After searching for a month, the optometrist had finally narrowed it down to two me who he thought could take care of his daughter. The first man's name was Juan …

Starving Men On An Island There are two starving men stranded on an island with only a rusty old knife. The first man says, “Well, I think our only choice is to eat each other's legs. We're not walking around, anyway. And we need food”. The other man agrees. So the first man begins sawing and crudely cutting the other man's legs off. I after about an hour of excruciating pain, the second man's legs are completely off of his body, so he says, “Okay, your turn. Give me the knife”. So the first ju…

A joke my brother made up when he was 13... Two men were marooned on an island with no food. After a week, they are both starving. To solve the issue of hunger, one of the men suggests that they cut off each other's legs and eat them to survive. The other man agrees. The first man, after a bloody and gruesome struggle, saws off the second man's legs. The second man, pale and weak, says to the first man. "Alright, now let's get your legs off" The first man runs away and yells "you have to …

Boomer Sorting Three elderly gentlemen are moving into an assisted living retirement community. A case manager has been going through their paperwork and is welcoming them to their new home. She reads through the first man's file and says "I see you have an IQ of 135. You will be happy to know that we have a fully stocked library, a MENSA alumni club, and a speaker series with the local university." She reads through the second man's file and says "Oh, you have an IQ of 110. I think you will …

A man arriving late for the superbowl final match is surprised to find the seat beside him empty Tickets for the event are sold out months in advance, and empty seats are unknown. So he says to the man on the other side of the seat. Excuse me, but do you know why this seat is empty? It was my wifes actually is the answer, bur sadly she died. Oh thats terrible the first man said. I am so sorry. Thanks, she never missed a match you know replied the second man. Hmmm said the first man could …

Three Inuit were talking about how cold it was. One said: "I don't ever remember it being this cold. Come to my igloo and I'll show how cold it is." So the three men trooped off to his igloo, where they found a can of beer frozen solid. The second Inuit said: "My igloo is colder than this. Come with me and I'll show you what I mean." So they headed for the second man's igloo, where they watched as a fresh pot of hot coffee froze as it was poured into a cup. The third Inuit said: "That's not cold…