#santa-claus

You know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children? Because he only comes once a year and that's down a chimney.

Was Santa Claus Your Birth Doctor? Cause all I heard from your Hospital Room was "HO HO HO"

What is the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? Santa goes down the chimney.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

How are Santa Claus and a Catholic priest alike? They both come out of little boys rooms with empty sacks.

A dad figured that at the age of seven his son would inevitably begin to have doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day the boy announced: "Dad, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny AND the Tooth Fairy." "Okay, son," said the dad, taking a deep breath. "Let's hear it. What do you know?" The boy replied: "They're all nocturnal."

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys in…

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working. So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy. "Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to her…