#netherlands

Why will Belgium go to war? *This is a joke my dutch grandfather told me, the dutch make fun of Belgians* Why will Belgium go to war with the Netherlands in 50 years? Because that's when they understand the Belgian jokes they make about them. Why will Belgium go to war with France in 50 years? They can't find the Netherlands.

Scientists in the Netherlands successfully clone a Neanderthal. Scientists in the Netherlands have succeeded in bringing back the Neanderthals back via cloning of a frozen specimen. They raise the Neanderthal child as a human and enroll him in a school. He doesn't do very well in grammar class, but shows a high interest in science, particularly biology. One day after being bullied by a particularly vicious human classmate, he runs out of the school, crying. One of the scientists find him at the …

What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland? It Netherlands.

A Dutchman is driving in Belgium when he hits a Belgian car. The Belgian whose car he hit was upset, as it was severely dented and the Dutchman was clearly at fault. But the Dutchman, unwilling to pay for the damages, managed to calm him down by explaining to him how to remove the dents: ""Just blow into the exhaust, and the dents will pop out in no time"". So the Belgian starts blowing and the Dutchman leaves. Ten minutes later, a police car stops to see what is happening, and the Belgian expla…

A family in the Netherlands claims to be the biggest group of Oasis fans in the world.. They call themselves the van der Walls.

Do you know about the constantly airborne bird species native to Holland? It Netherlands.

Breaking news: Messi won't be playing against Netherlands He is suffering from extreme abdominal pain caused uncontrollable laughter caused by watching Brazil vs Germany

I think the Netherlands should have a duke rather than a king... [x-post from r/puns] ""The Dutchy of the Netherlands"" has a nice ring to it.

It's a do or dive for Robben as Netherlands play Argentina in the semifinals.

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red white and blue in the Netherlands flag. ""Our flag symbolizes our taxes"" he said. ""We get red when we talk about them white when we get our tax bill and blue after we pay them."" ""That's the same with us"" the American said ""only we see stars too.""

How do you see that a linedancer came from Belgium and not from the Netherlands? He wears the cardboard box on his boots.

U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands. Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners.

The Belgians are pissed off... The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; "meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara". The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert. They became the laughing stock of the world. The kin…

A close call. Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

So the Belgians are pissed... The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; "meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara". The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert. They became the laughing stock of the world. The king o…

My mate has 2 tickets for the England v Netherlands game tonight He paid £360 each, including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you're interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride's name is Sarah, she's 5'7" & quite attractive.

An out-of-work plumber decides a good career move would be to move to the Netherlands. He heard that everyone has so many clogs.

What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times? A yellow license plate.