#king-arthur

[meeting at round table] "King Arthur, if I may?" "Go ahead." "Castles but bouncier." "Bouncy castles?" "But you gotta take your shoes off."

what idiot caled it "king arthur adn the knigts of the roumd table" insted of a "circumference sir conference"

KING ARTHUR: ...and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that's not really... R: Got it

Which is your favorite Monty Python Joke? Of course, there's [the Funniest joke in the world](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World), but here goes mine: **Sir Bedevere:** ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped. **King Arthur:** This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

And you think the queen isn't to be blamed? King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving his beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely Knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something. A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard wa…

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade. Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Guinevere. The belt contained a miniature guillotine. Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all strip from the waist down. One by one, he went to each knight and shook his head, telling all those whose members were missing to get out of his sight. That is until he came up to Lancelot. Seeing that Lancelot was intact, he exclaimed, ''I kn…

King Arthur was leaving Guinevere in care of Sir Lancelot while he left on extended buisness. He incased her nether regions with a stout chastity belt, entrusting the key to Sir Lancelot. After Arthur had proceeded a short distance down the road, Lancelot galloped up in a great hurry ""King Arthur!"" he exclaimed, ""You gave me the wrong key!"".

How do you find King Arthur in the dark? With a knight light....

King Arthur is heading off to war, but he's a bit worried about Guinevere alone in the castle with some rowdy knights. So he goes to Merlin who shows him a chastity belt. The problem is it has a large hole in the most important spot. ""This won't work,"" he says. Just then Merlin takes a stick and inserts it through the hole. Whap! A blade comes down and cuts the stick in half. ""Perfect,"" he says. After the King returns he lines up all the knights and makes them drop their britches. Everyone i…

King Arthur's birthday party at the round table. King Arthur looked down at the pastries and asked ""Are these all Cake?"" ""Two are pie"" replied Sir Cumference

[OC] Why don't dyslexics like the story of King Arthur? They think it's about the romance and majesty of Camelto.

[Request] Drinking or medieval jokes. Super bonus if both. They can certainly be offensive. I'll start. Going on a medieval pub crawl and offensive and/or drinking jokes get you to the head of the line at each bar. I'm hoping you can keep me in the front and my fellow crawlers entertained. But this is r/jokes, so here's ~~one~~ two to get us started: A king was preparing to ride off on a quest. Before he leaves, he locks up the queen with a chastity belt and calls in his most trusted knight and …

The Silent Knight So everybody know about King Arthur and the knights of the round table, but not everybody has heard about the Silent Knight of the round table. Here is a tale to tell: A couple years after the round table was established the King went on another campaign. But there is a problem: he has a beautiful wife and he can't afford to leave her undefended in the castle right? Arthur chose from his personal army, 12 of his strongest, best looking and most trusted knights to stay behind an…

Why did King Arthur leave no heir? He was legendary for pulling out.

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place, which made it basically useless. ""This is no good, Merlin!"" the King exclaimed, ""Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when I'm on a long quest?"" ""Ah, sire, just observe, "" said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He ins…

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young…

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer; he would be put to death. The question? . . . What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young A…

What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cam ! Cam who ? Camalot is where King Arthur lived !

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light

King Arthur and the Witch Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most kn…

Lancelot! Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him. "I want to be with the Queen, help me" So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Queen starts to feel the effect. Arthur, desperate, calls Merlin to advise him on what to do. "Your majesty, this is an enchantment which only the saliva of noble knight Lancelot can cure. He must apply …

The Queen and the Chastity Belt One day, King Arthur had to leave the kingdom for an extended period. He took his most trusted knight, Lancelot, aside for a moment. "Lancelot, I fear Guinevere is not entirely faithful to me. Therefore, I have placed a chastity belt upon her. Now I entrust you alone with the key", and with that, placed the key in his hand. Soon Arthur was on his way. Before he left behind sight of the castle, however, he heard a galloping horse racing up to him. I…

Many people know of King Arthur and his Knights of The Round Table. However, most people do not know who first proposed and created the round table: Sir Cumfrence.

It's my cake day, thought I'd share my favorite joke I like to tell King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he'd see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week. …