#jonah

A little girl was drawing a picture of Jonah inside the whale in class... Her teacher asked her ""What's that?"" ""It's Jonah inside the belly of the whale from the Bible."" She replied The teacher, an atheist, told her ""You know that didn't really happen."" She kept drawing ""When I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah."" ""What if he's not in heaven? The teacher admonished. The girl, still drawing ""Then you ask him""

This joke was ranked the funniest ever Two rednecks, Joshua and Jonah, go hunting. Suddenly Jonah falls dead. Joshua calls the ambulance: ""Sir, my friend Jonah is collapsed dead"". The person on the phone asks: ""Are you sure he is dead?"" Joshua shoots Jonah in the head and answers: ""Yes, I'm sure"".

A teacher was having an argument with her student They were discussing whether a whale could swallow a human whole. Teacher: It is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human whole Student: But in the bible Jonah was swallowed by a whale Teacher: I still do not believe a whale could swallow a human whole Student: Fine when i go to heaven il go ask Jonah myself Teacher: And what if he went to hell? Student: Than you ask her

The Whale was uneasy. ""I'm afraid Jonah is not satisfied with his accommodations"" said the whale. ""What gave you that idea?"" queried the octopus. ""Oh, I have inside information"" said the whale.

Why couldn't Jonah convert the Ninevites? Because he was too inefficient.

Punny Phrase I have a friend on a sports team and his name is bjorn so we made a poster saying ""It's not delivery, it bjorno"" and I was wondering if anyone could make a similar phrase with some other names on our team we have. Some include Shayan, Chandler, Anna, Paulina, Jonah, Matt, Silvan, Maya, Sancia, Karsen, Julian, Angela, and Lauralei.

Never Argue With Children A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, ""When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."" The teacher asked, ""What if Jonah went…

Religious little Johnny and his teacher... were talking about whales. The teacher said that even though whales are big, their throats are very small, so they couldn't swallow a large animal, like a human. ""But,"" little Johnny cried,""Jonah was swallowed by a whale in the bible."" The teacher sighed and said, ""The bible must have been wrong in that story, because it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human!"" Little Johnny thought, and said,""Well, when I get to heaven, I'll ask…

A Sunday School teacher read a passage from the Old Testament book of Jonah to her class: ""And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah; and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish, saying 'I called to the Lord our of my distress and He answered me.' ... and the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land."" (Jonah 1:17 -- 2:2, 10) When she had finished reading, the teacher…

What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ? You can't keep a good man down !

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal its throat is very small. The little girl said ""But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."" Irritated the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. ""It is physically impossible!"" she said. Undaunted the little girl said ""Well when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."" To this the teacher said…

A blonde takes part in a game show [Disclaimer: I don't know whether this counts as a joke, if not please tell me which subreddit would be suitable, 'cause it's actually a pretty fun "story"] First question: how long did the Hundred Years War last? a) 99 years b) 116 years c) 100 years d) 150 years The blonde prefers to use her one free pass joker at this point, so here comes the next question: where does the Panama hat originate from? a) Ecuador b) Venezuela c) Colombia d) Panama T…

A little girl was drawing a picture of Jonah inside the whale in class... Her teacher asked her ""What's that?"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you a…