#ist

The funniest joke in the world Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

You think das ist a long time? Obama, Putin and Merkel meet in Hamburg for a private summit, and Merkel decides to break the ice with a nice walk around the lake (Alster). Obama, admiring the foliage, says ""you know, in the States, we have forests so vast, that some military training exercises last as long as 2 years."" Putin replies, ""Ah yes, but Comrade, the vastness and beauty of the Siberian wilderness is such that our soldiers don't leave for 4 years!"" Merkel, being the peace-keeper betw…

Religious Pick-up Lines [NSFW] Girl, did you take Hebrew? 'Cause later you're gonna be takin' some of my he-brew! Girl, do you know the Benediction? 'Cause my name's Ben, and you're gonna be Ben-addicted! Girl, are you a Calvinist? 'Cause you're gonna be a taking-off-my-Calvins-ist! Girl, are you a Muslim? 'Cause I wanna be Allah-p in that! Girl, do you worship Buddha? 'Cause I would worship your Buddha-ee! Bonus (not a pick-up line): Shiva the destroyer? I 'ardly know 'er!

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Achtung ! Ich reise zuruck in die Zeit fur eine Mission . Sie werden wissen, wenn es mir gelungen ist das Dritte Reich noch nicht die Welt erobern ! (reddit translate) Attention! I am traveling back in time for a mission. You will know I have succeeded if the third reich did not conquer the world!

Some Might Say This is the World's Funniest Joke Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

A cop catches a Z4 with European plates doing 134 in upstate New York, so the cop gets out calling for backup and shouts ""Keep your hands on the wheel!"" while approaching the driver's side. He instructs the driver to lower the window. It's a pale bald guy wearing a dark turtleneck and thick plastic eyeglasses. ""Ja? I vas just admiring Ihre Autobahn. There is eine Art von Problem?"" ""Yeah, buddy,"" says the cop. ""This isn't 'ear auto bahn.' You're in New York State, and you have to respect O…

UNO-Witz! Im letzten Monat hat die UNO eine weltweite Umfrage durchgefuhrt. Die Frage war: Teilen sie uns bitte die ehrliche Meinung zur Losung der Nahrungsknappheit im Rest der Welt mit! Die Umfrage stellte sich (nicht unerwartet) als Riesenflopp heraus: 1.)In Afrika wussten die Teilnehmer nicht was ""NAHRUNG"" ist 2.)Osteuropa wusste nicht was ""EHRLICH"" heisst 3.)Westeuropa kannte das Wort ""KNAPPHEIT"" nicht 4.)Die Chinesen wussten nicht was ""MEINUNG"" ist 5.)Der Nahe Osten fragte nach, wa…

Noah wasn't much for civilized society . . . You could say he was an-arc-ist.

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference. Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: ""In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate."" Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: ""In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud."" Hans steps up next: ""In Germany ve invented das beer, verdamt. Give me ei…

At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"" ""Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?""

Typical vaguely racist bar joke [xpost r/forwardsfromgrandma] At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference. Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate." Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud." Hans steps up…

A joke that I heard from a German Friend. In World War 1 there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. Until one day an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explains his plan to his trench mates, and they figured 'why not?' its not like they have any better ideas. The next day an american soldier calls out, "Hans!?" A German pops up and shouts back, "Ja?!" *Boom* The German is shot…

When daughter told me she prefers white rice over brown rice I was extremely disappointed. I didn't raise her to be a rice-ist.

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Do you that thing about German people? There Himmel ist blau.

What do you call an Australian who discriminates against different types of rice? Rice-ist!