Latex gloves A happy couple are laying in bed when the husband farts, the wife says to him ""Harry, you fart every morning in bed. One day you're going to fart your guts out!"" Harry just grunted and ignored her. 4 months later... It's the morning after thanksgiving and the wife Fiona is looking in the fridge when she notices the insides of the turkey in plastic wrap. She knows what she had to do. She goes upstairs and while Harry is sleeping she slips the insides into his boxers. She goes back

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A man in a small town goes to confessional... and tells the local priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have slept with a loose woman." The priest thinks for a moment and says, "Well, son, was it Mary?" "No Father." "Hmm," the priest continues, "was it Fiona?" "No, no father," the man replies. "And was it Anne?" "No, father." After a pause, the priest says, "Give me one our fathers and two hail marys, and all will be forgiven." The man exits the confessional and slides in next to his frien

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An important time for any young man in Scotland is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to buy and wear his first kilt. A few weeks before his big birthday, wee Kenny went to a tailor's shop and decided on the material he wanted for his first kilt. And while he was there, he also asked the tailor if he could make a pair of underpants in the same material because he had heard that wearing a kilt could be draughty. A few days later, the tailor called Kenny to say that his order was ready. When Ke

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