#dallas

The Pope visits Texas The Pope was state bound scheduled to give a speech in Dallas, TX. On their way to the venue the Pope rolls down the privacy glass in the limo and says to his chauffeur, "Hey, you know what? I've always rode in these things, but I've never driven one! Do you mind if we switch spots?" Being it was the Pope himself, the chauffeur felt he couldn't say no so he obliged and exchanged seats. It had been years since the Pope had driven, and he was having the time of his life crui…

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, “I think I’ll get up and get a coke.” “No problem,” said the Soldier, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier’s sho…

Machine that catches thiefs The government invented a machine that could automatically catch criminals and in the blink of an eye, They first placed it in Ottawa and what do you know 10 criminals in 2 hours. Then they went on to place it in dallas and BAM 5 thiefs in only 4 hours. Then they went on to place the machine in Flint Michigan, The machine was stolen within an hour.

A blonde gets eye surgery... A blonde gets eye surgery, which results in her eyes being bandaged up. She handles it really well, resulting in her adapting quickly to using a white cane. Eventually, she decides to take a trip to Texas, because hey, pretty soon she'll be able to take the blindfolds off and enjoy the view. Her friends help her pack and purchase a plane ticket, and soon she gets on the flight. Once she lands in Dallas, she goes to a nearby restaurant. After getting a drink there,…

Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk? Debris Does Dallas.

Woman mistakes Lee Trevino for a migrant worker Lee Trevino is a Mexican-American who was one of the best golfers (and greatest characters) in the world. But when he was a young man, he would still mow his own lawn, and this is why. He was a young golfer on the PGA Tour, and a married man, when one day he was out mowing the lawn in front of his house in Dallas, as he always did. A woman drove up in a big, shiny Cadillac, rolled down her window and said, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" …

A guy sees a lamp, rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides to grant one wish. The guy thinks about it and says "I want to be a powerful man in the world, and have a beautiful wife" The next morning the guy awake in a unfamiliar room, and a beautiful woman said to him "Wake up John, it's a busy day, we have a car tour in Dallas"

How long must this go on? Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, “I think I’ll get up and get a Coke.” “No problem,” said the Soldier, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Marine…

Aboard the Shuttle Flight Out of Dallas Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas

The Pope visits Texas The Pope was state bound scheduled to give a speech in Dallas

Marines Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas

A 4th grade '49ers fan in Dallas The scene is a 4th grade classroom in Dallas

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?,"The Cowboys stadium the only place there'll never be a touchdown

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team? Because then Dallas would want one too.

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

Ebola is in Dallas? At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up.

What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party? Shot in the head in Dallas.

Why do so many dyslexic vegans move to Dallas? For the Sallad

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas? Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

The flight was coming into Dallas when a combination of mechanical errors and unstable weather caused the plane to start plummeting to the ground! The pilot feverishly worked his controls, and finally, the engines roared back to life in time to prevent the plane from crashing! As the plane landed, airport officials rushed to the disembarking gate and were stunned to see 200 midgets shakily get off the plane. Finally the crew got off the plane and the local manager of the airline came up to congr…