#cruz

[GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!

Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.

Cruz picked Fiorina as his running mate. She probably gives better head than Kasich.

Joe Biden's thoughts on the Supreme Court ""And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you'll have eight vacancies."" - Vice President Joe Biden https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/03/06/joe-biden-just-told-a-very-good-joke-at-ted-cruzs-expense/

Throughout the summer Trump's campaign was on the gas pedal... But now they have turned on Cruz control.

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar. The bartender sees them chatting, so he goes over to them and says ""Wow, what an honor to have the two of you here! What are you guys talking about?"" Trump responds with ""We are planning our tactics for World War III."" Curious, the bartender asks ""Really? What're your plans?"" ""We are going to kill 100 million Muslims, and one hot blonde chick with a nice rack"" says Trump. ""Really? Why the blonde chick?"" the bartender replies with. Trump t…

Four guys on a plane with three parachutes break the fourth wall. Four guys were on an airplane when it started to crash. Then they discovered there were only three parachutes. The four guys were Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and Ted Cruz. They argued over who got to use the three parachutes. Since the scientists and geeks knew this joke usually ends with the smartest guy in the world jumping out with an empty backpack, they decided to take Tyson's suggestion and throw Cruz out the …

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve. Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning." Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too." He then looks closely at the bartender and says, "You are incredibly ugly. And bald. I hate ugly people. I have always been a very beautiful man. Because I'm beautiful and a winner and ahead…

Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together... and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win. "I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump. Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"

What's the worst gear for America? Cruz control.

What is the only way to stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile.

Why doesn't Donald trump travel in ships anymore..? Cause he doesn't like Cruz...

Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.