#chuck-norris

While teaching a CPR course, chuck norris actually brought the practice dummy to life

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Before snapping your neck, Chuck Norris will tell you the best shampoo you should have used.

Chuck Norris once played a Generation V Pokemon game and caught a Raichu. The Raichu is now defiant enough to knock out an Excadrill with Bolt Strike. How is this defiant? Excadrill's types are Ground [has immunity to Electric-type moves] and Steel [has resistance to Electric-type moves], Raichu normally cannot learn Bolt Strike, and Raichu don't normally appear in Pokemon Black and White in the first place!

Chuck Norris can land a plane in Auto Pilot.

chuck norris went on a hike up mount st helens on may 18 1980. then he had to take a dump...

Chuck Norris checks his facebook on a typewriter.

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

The children of Amazon cannibal tribes think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny because he hides body parts for them to find every Easter morning.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

""Sweating bullets"" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.

One time cancer got a terminal case of Chuck Norris.