#bad-news

I feel like all bears are Bad News Bears. I've never seen a bear and was like "Oh, he looks like he has good news for us, lets stick around"

[doc walks in holding up my X-rays with one hand & giving a thumbs down with the other] Bad news, pal. You're a skeleton.

Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]

Good News and Bad News and Good News So this old man goes to the doctor and the doctor says, ""Your test results came back and I'm afraid I have some bad news, and good news."" The man says, ""Well, crap, tell me the bad news first"" So the doctor says, ""I'm sorry to say this, but you have alzheimer's"" The old man says, ""Damn, that sucks...What's the good news then?"" The doctor then replies, ""Well, apart from that, you're fit as a fiddle!"" The old man then pipes up and asks, ""Then whats t…

A man had to go abroad for work for a few months and left his pet cat in his neighbor's care A month into his trip, he suddenly gets an email from his neighbor, ""I am sorry John, but your cat is dead"". He immediately left everything and flew back home. He loved his cat very much and was devastated by his death. He gave the cat a proper funeral, and then was prepared to go back to work again... Before leaving, he met his neighbor. He told him, ""Thanks for letting me know. But you know, if some…

A man is at a party with a bunch of his coworkers and his boss. After a couple of hours he's completely wasted. At some point, not knowing what he's doing, the man begins to urinate all over his boss. The man wakes up the next morning with a splitting head ache and no idea what happened the night before. His wife comes up to him and says, ""Bad news, you peed on your boss last night and he fired you."" ""Damn! Well screw him!,"" the man replies. The wife pauses for a second and then says, ""I di…

Coming Out Girl: Dad Dad: yeah? Girl; I have Bad News Dad: What Is It Sweetie?? Girl: I'm A Lesbian... Dad: Ok... Other Sister: I'm Lesbian Too Dad: Does Anyone In This Family Like Boys!!! Son; I Do

Tennis Elbow A guy walks into a doctor's office. When the doctor walks in, the guy says, ""Doc, I threw my arm out playing tennis. I just need a shot of cortisone."" ""No problem,"" says the doctor, ""but first, I need to take a urine sample."" ""Why on Earth for?"" ""Well,"" the doctor explains, ""We have a new urinalysis machine that can diagnose any known ailment just from your urine. So we just need a sample."" ""I don't have to go now,"" the guy says. ""Can I bring you a sample in the morni…

Bad News & Really Bad News A man goes to his doctors office for a follow up appt a few days after geting some lab work done. The doctor comes in and says ""I have Bad news and really bad news."" The man says ""I'll take the bad news first to which the doctor replies that the test result have come in and that he has 24 hours to live. The man is completly dumbfounded and then says ""If thats the bad news wtf is the worst news?"" The doctor replies ""Well, I forgot to call you yesterday""

Good news, Bad news joke Doctor: I have good news, and I have bad news. Which do you want first? Man: I want the good news first. Doctor: Well, you have 24 hours to live. Man: That's the good new?! What's the bad news? Doctor: The bad news is that I should have told you yesterday. Man: *Falls over, and dies* Do you guys have better good news, bad new joke?

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!

Bad News and REALLY Bad News Guy goes to the doctor because things don't feel right. The doctor does test after test, then re-tests and consults a colleague who agrees with the diagnosis. He calls the patient in and says, "I'm really sorry, but all I can offer is bad news and really bad news. What would you like first?" The says, "holy shit, those aren't good choices. I guess give me the really bad news first." Doc says, "you have a really rare, inoperable, extremely painful form of cance…

Bad News & Really Bad News A man goes to his doctors office for a follow up appt a few days after geting some lab work done. The doctor comes in and says "I have Bad news and really bad news." The man says "I'll take the bad news first to which the doctor replies that the test result have come in and that he has 24 hours to live. The man is completly dumbfounded and then says "If thats the bad news wtf is the worst news?" The doctor replies "Well, I forgot to call you yesterday"

Good news and Bad news wife: i have a good news and a bad new. Husband: i am very busy.Just give me good news. wife: The airbags worked properly in our new BMW.

The Bad News... A man goes to the clinic for an examination. After a thorough check up, the doctor tells him, "I have some good news and some bad news." Curious, the man asks what the good news is, and the doctor replies, "the good news is: we're naming a new disease after you..."

The Bad News... A man goes to the clinic for an examination. After a thorough check up

Good news and Bad news wife: i have a good news and a bad new.