I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]

A man is at a party with a bunch of his coworkers and his boss. After a couple of hours he's completely wasted. At some point, not knowing what he's doing, the man begins to urinate all over his boss. The man wakes up the next morning with a splitting head ache and no idea what happened the night before. His wife comes up to him and says, ""Bad news, you peed on your boss last night and he fired you."" ""Damn! Well screw him!,"" the man replies. The wife pauses for a second and then says, ""I di…

Tennis Elbow A guy walks into a doctor's office. When the doctor walks in, the guy says, ""Doc, I threw my arm out playing tennis. I just need a shot of cortisone."" ""No problem,"" says the doctor, ""but first, I need to take a urine sample."" ""Why on Earth for?"" ""Well,"" the doctor explains, ""We have a new urinalysis machine that can diagnose any known ailment just from your urine. So we just need a sample."" ""I don't have to go now,"" the guy says. ""Can I bring you a sample in the morni…

Good news and Bad news wife: i have a good news and a bad new. Husband: i am very busy.Just give me good news. wife: The airbags worked properly in our new BMW.