#atm

Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seems to be having some sort of damn major financial crisis?

SCORE! Some girl on my friends list asked me to meet her for drinks tonight! All I need to do is hit the ATM and lose 70 lbs by 8 O'Clock.

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, ""I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?"" The trainer replied... ""Use the ATM machine outside the gym!""

Kentucky - Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the panel off the machine, however, they pulled the bumper off the truck. Scared, they left the scene of the crime. Their bumper, along with their license plate was still attached to the ATM.

""The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double even triple. You're gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man."" - Jay Leno

I asked my trainer "Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?" He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine"

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

I was at the ATM the other day and this old lady asked me to help her check her balance So I pushed her.

Guy walks into a gym He asks the manager which machine he could use that would attract the most women. The manager points to the ATM. Edit:formatting

CATHOLIC HORSES A bloke was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses. The bloke made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though …

Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

An old man goes to the gym... An old man goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "I want to impress young beautiful girls. What's the best machine I can use?" The trainer responds, "The ATM"

Two men are drinking at a bar.. When one turns to the other and says, "well time to head out, my wife told me if I came home so drunk I pissed myself again I'd be in big trouble". His friend says "Here's an idea! Just take a twenty dollar bill from the ATM and when you get home just tell her someone accidentally poured a drink on your lap and felt so bad they gave you the twenty for dry cleaning!". "That's brilliant" says the first man and continues drinking. Later that night, so drunk he's…

This old lady in front of me at the ATM.. ..showed me a slip and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

A 25 y.o. goes to her therapist... Patient: "Doctor, I feel so bad lately, since I got my first raise at work, I can't stop taking cash outta my bank account and then go buy a bunch of useless stuff... Doctor: "Hmm, can you describe more precisely how you are feeling?" Patient: "Well, I get such a high when I take the money out, my heart's racing, face's blushing, I walk fast, like I'm floating above the ground! But it only lasts a few minutes then all the shopping and new stuff feels like I'…

I asked the gym trainer which machine to use to get the most beautiful women He said the ATM outside

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the guy over.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women He said the ATM outside

I saw a one legged man at the ATM He was checking his balance

A shaggy looking old lady goes into her bank and asks the teller... "Can I please withdraw $10 from my account?" while handing over her debit card. The teller, annoyed at such a transaction request, rudely tells the old lady "Go to the ATM, stop holding up the line for $10." The old lady then says "Okay, then I want to withdraw $10k from my account." The teller, now a little bit incredulous, takes the old lady's debit card, checks her account, and sees that she has over $500k on deposit. She…

I asked a fitness trainer at my local gym what would be the best machine to use in order to impress girls Apparently it’s the ATM machine at my local bank.

The ATM has the shakes... And other withdrawal symptoms too.

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym? The ATM

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance....

I´m at the ATM when a robber holding his gun at my back... He asks: do you want to see your family again?