#alaska

A guy from Anchorage lived in a house with no indoor toilet, just an outhouse. And the older he got, the further away the outhouse seemed to get, so that eventually he grew lazy and started peeing off the front porch. His wife was horrified and told him: "You do realize that the neighbours can you see when you're peeing off the porch!" He promised not to do it again but a few nights later, on a typically cold Alaskan night, he could not face the trip to the outhouse and so he went off the porch.…

Pilot: "Control tower, what time is it?" Control tower: "What airline is this?" Pilot: "What difference does that make?" Control tower: "Well, if it's United Airlines, it's 6 p.m.; if it's American Airlines, it's 18.00 hours; and if it's Alaska Airlines, the big hand is on the 12 . . ."

An Hollywood actor reported that there was one shortcoming when he appeared on the stage in Alaska known for cold climate. When the audience clapped he could not tell whether they were applauding him or trying to keep their hands warm!

These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader`s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one`s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys asked "What…

Knock Knock Who's there? Ahmed! Ahmed who? Ahmedeus Motzart! 1666. Knock Knock Who's there? Alaska! Alaska who? Alaska my friend the question then! 1667. Knock Knock Who's there? Alfred! Alfred who! Alfred of the dark! 1668. Knock Knock Who's there? Alma! Alma who? Alma not going to tell you!