Putin, Angela Merkel and Obama stand ona a dock... Obama says ""The USA built a submarine that can dive for 1 week without needing to refuel."" Putin responds ""Our nuclear submarines can dive for a whole month!"" Suddenly a old submarine comes out of the water. The hatch opens, a Wehrmacht -soldier comes out and says ""Heil Hitler we need fuel""

USA lose graciously to Belgium in the World Cup. Obama says no hard feelings & any drones heading towards Belgium are nothing to worry about

When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.

Best submarine As the Cold War is ending, peacetalks are being held between the USA and the USSR. Two sailors, one Soviet and one US, are sharing cigarettes and are looking at the grand show of military power from a nearby pier. The American boast about the US navy: (with a thick Texan accent) **""Our submarines are state of the art and can stay submerged for weeks at a time! There is nothing that you reds could do about it!""** The soviet sailor replies: (in heavily accented English) *""HA! Our…