#tony

"They're meh." --Tony the Tiger, off his Paxil for a few days

"Did you guys see me get so mad I flipped a table?" Yes Tony, we saw it. You're 46. You have to stop taking your skateboard to restaurants.

I'd like to hear Tony the Tiger's opinion on other products before he tells me how great his cereal is.

[chiropractor] Dr., your client Tony is here -Tony? The guy whose skin is made of bubble wrap Yes -Oh hell yes clear the rest of my schedule

"Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?" *flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*

[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony

Of course, Tony the Tiger isn't his real name. It's Lord Antoine le Tigris of Kellogg.

Wife: "Tony is coming round" Me: "Charity collector Tony or Mafia boss Tony?" Tony: "I'm here for the money." *DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER*

PR manager, philosopher, translator and a journalist walk into a bar The Bartender says: ""Hey Tony! Four bachelor's degrees, but still no luck finding a job?""

Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because on the boat over to America their shirts said To N.Y.

Tony and Tori were walking around town. . Tony says, ""See that building over there. They make plastics there. All kinds of different things."" ""Like what?"" She asks. ""Well, they make plastic fruit. Things like apples and bananas and strawberries."" ""Really? Are you sure, Tony."" ""Yes Tori."" He says. ""I'm sure. They also make toys for the Sea World gift shop. Things like plastic dolphins, whales, and sharks."" ""Are you positive?"" She asks. ""Yeah, I'm positive, Tori."" Tony says. ""They…

This guy Bob says to his friend at dinner, I know more people than you would believe... Bono happened to be in the bar so Bob excuses himself and meets Bono in the restroom and asks a favor of him to come by the table and pretend he knows him because it would mean alot to his son. Sure enough Bono comes over and says ""hi Bob"" to the astonishment of his friend. Next week they're eating at the same joint and Tony Bennett is singing, and once again he corners Tony in the restroom. Sure enough lat…

How to get the attention of a crew of bricklayers... Yell ""Eh, Tony!""

What do you call a guy with no shins? Tony..... toe knee

Ford, Fiat, BMW Fix Or Repair Daily Fix It Again Tony Break My Window

President Obama to the Queen: ""Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"" ""Well,"" said the Queen, ""the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."" Obama frowned, and then asked, ""But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"" The Queen took a sip of champagne. ""Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch"" The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. ""Please s…

*ding-dong* - ""Hello, my name is Tony, I'm here to bang your daughter."" - ""TO WHAT?!"" - - ""TONY!""

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee? Tony

what did the rapman say to other rapman yo tony where did you get that fresh salami?

""Tony, why do you always go around spelling your name backwards?"" Tony: ""Why not?""

Did you hear, Tony the Tiger was murdered. It was a cereal killer

My favorite pick-up line: Hey girl, my name is Tony. You know what that is backwards? Y not.

Two guys go to a nightclub in the 19th century. They're friends with the owner. The owner has a kid named Tony, who no one has seen for weeks. The first, Jacob, goes off to have a drink, and the other, John, flirts with girls. John sees a hot chick, and hits on her for a while. A few minutes later, John walks back to Jacob. ""Dude, I just met the hottest chick ever! I think she said her name was Susan or something."" Jacob takes one look at Susan, grabs John, and throws him into their carriage. …

Why did Tony cross the road? To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, ""Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!""

Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they left the old country, immigration officers put a sticker on their lapel that read To NY.