#todd

u have one (1) new dad. click here to accept Todd.

[bank robbery] "Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY

"What should we name this fruit?" "Passion!" "..." "..." "Let's not let Todd name any more fruits."

Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*

If babies named Todd don't call themselves "The Toddler" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?

Welcome to drugs club, Todd. I can't believe someone actually answered the ad. You're under arrest.

Congratulations to our winner, Todd, who correctly guessed there were "hella jellybeans" in the jar.

"Video games are art," I say as I change my created Madden player Todd Poopman's height to 6'9".

An adult man named Todd just told me I could call him Big T, that was 9 minutes ago. I'm staring at him waiting for the punch line.

Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts "No this is Creative WRITHING class" Other student squirms around on floor "Very good Todd"

Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!! *silence* Todd the snail: This is bullshit *spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*

The internet is down at work. I took my top off and lit a campfire. Coyotes are near. I'll sacrifice Todd from HR. How do you hunt rabbit?

Three men are captured by cannibals... Todd, Jim, and Barry are walking through the jungle when they are captured by cannibals. The leader of the cannibal tribe says to them: ""Walk into the jungle and pick 10 of a single fruit."" So, they all go out and do so. Todd and Jim come back at about the same time and the cannibal leader says to them ""Now, if you can fit all ten of the fruit in your ass without making a facial expression we will let you go free."" The Todd, who picked apples, squeezes …

My friend Todd, who is a midget was asked to be a judge at a local art show... While going over the entries with the other judges, they came across a particularly terrible painting. ""Oh my god, this is amazing,"" said Todd, ""I think we've found our winner."" ""Are you being sarcastic?"" one of the other judges asked. Todd replied, ""No, I'm just a little art official.""

A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100000 Federal grant to investigate the ""V"" formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the ""V"" is always longer than the other side. This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens. To start off the discussion Todd the Consulting Firm Biologist sta…

Todd comes into work one morning just grinning and struts straight over to his coworker Jim.

I also have a gay friend in my friend circle I know it's Todd

My friends say one of us is gay. I really hope it's Todd... he's cute.

My friend Todd is a midget and was asked to judge paintings at an art show... While reviewing the entries

Todd sat behind Claire in Sunday school The teacher asked the class 'Who created the universe?'

My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really hope it's Todd

Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer.

My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really hope it's Todd, he's cute