#polly

If your Polly wants a cracker, he's a white supremacist

POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird.

Bigot Parrot So a black guy walks into a pet shop looking for a new pet. His eye is drawn to the shop keeper sitting with a parrot on his shoulder having a full conversation. He walks up to the shop owner and tells him how amazing that parrot is and was wondering if it was at all for sale or if it was the owner's personal pet. The owner told him everything is for sale but this parrot is so unique that it costs $1,000. The man says it's worth every penny and pays the shop owner and walks out with…

2000 pounds of dynamite A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular arms and says, ""See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"" Polly begins to drool. Raymond then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, ""S…

This guy takes his sick parrot to the vet... The vet takes one look and says, ""I'm afraid your parrot is dead."" ""That's terrible,"" says the guy, ""How can you so sure? I'd like a second opinion."" The Vet then opens the door and whistles. A Labrador bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, takes time sniffing at the parrot, looks up and whines sadly. ""I'm afraid it's confirmed"" says the vet. The guy looks at the vet and says ""But my 5 year old daughter loves this parrot! Please! Are …

Dumb Nirvana Joke I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.

What do you call a woman with multiple personality disorder? Polly

THE CAT AND THE LAB A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary hospital. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head sadly and said, ""I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."" The distressed owner wailed, ""Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."" The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returni…

Politically Correctness...... ""Want some Nips?"" ""That's offensive, I'm 49% Japanese."" ""Want to chat on Kik?"" ""As a proud Jewish-American, that's offensive."" ""Have you heard the song Trap Queen?"" ""That's offensive, I'm a trans female."" ""Polly want a cracker?"" ""You know it's Polly wants a Cacuasian, right?""

Kanye tryin to get a parrot to talk, says to him: Polly want a cracker? Parrot look at Kanye, say Nigger want a watermelon?

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot? because polly wanted a cracker

Why don't parrot's like black people? Because Polly wants a cracker.

Raymond and Polly A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular arms and says, ""See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"" Polly begins to drool. Raymond then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, ""See tho…

Crackers So my black friend Treyvon is having some issues with his girl friend (Polly). He told me she gave him an ultimatum. He either has to change his life in a number of ways including getting a stable job and marrying her or she'll leave him and find some one who will. After Treyvon had poured his heart out and told me about what Polly had told him he asked me what i thought. So I gave him my honest opinion. I said "" well it sounds like Polly wants a cracker.""

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar and sits. He is dressed as a stereotypical pirate, with a hook hand, peg leg, eyepatch, and a parrot on his shoulder. As the bartender prepares his drink, he asks, ""What happened to your hand?"" The pirate replies, ""I was sparring with me crew and one cut off me hand."" Bartender: ""What about your leg?"" Pirate: ""We were boarding an enemy ship and one guy went and cut off me leg."" Bartender: ""And the eyepatch?"" Pirate: ""Well, Polly p…

A math teacher had a bird, and he trained it to talk. One day it escaped, and he yelled out the window, ""Polly gone! Polly gone!""

Teacher : The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it ? Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !

Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!

What did the rich socialite's parrot say? Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!

What did the parrot say on Independence Day? Polly wants a firecracker!

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate with a peg leg, hook hand, eyepatch, and a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The bartender asks how he got the peg leg. "Well", says the pirate, "I fell into the sea and had to fight off a shark, but he ate me leg." "What about the hook hand?" Pirate: "Me vessel got boarded by some scallywags and I lost me hand in the fight." "Well, how about the eyepatch?" "Ol' Polly here pooped in me eye!" The bartender was confused and asked how that could …

Her parents wanted her to date someone of her own ethnicity. But Polly wanted a cracker.