#phyllis

What do you get if you cross a Phyllis with a Christine? A Philistine with two mommies ...

Every Day in Florida Two elderly ladies, Phyllis and Marge, were driving to a church gathering. Phyllis was behind the wheel while Marge rode shotgun, knitting. Out of the corner of her eye, Marge thought she saw a stop sign flash by and asked herself if perhaps Phyllis had blown past it, so she paid attention as they approached another. Sure enough, Phyllis cruised through the intersection without stopping. ""Phyllis! You just ran a stop sign!"" ""Oh!"" replied Phyllis, ""Am I driving?""

""Why is the Old Testament down on gays? Because the Phyllistines were always making war on the Israelites."" Here is the explanation of this joke, for the under-30 crowd. In 20th century gay jokes about drag-queens, ""Phyllis"" was a typical drag-queen name. The use of names like ""Phyllis"" in these jokes mirrored the fact that drag-queens typically picked out female names for themselves, to go with their female outfits. And ""Phyllis"" was a favorite choice.

A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, "Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice." Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother says, "You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!" Through his tears, Murray croaks, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number!"