Considering Leonardo DiCaprio might win an Oscar tomorrow... 1. Leonardo DiCaprio? More like Leonardo NoOscaro. 2. Best actor category? More like the not Leo club. 3. I typed in 'Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar' into google and it said 'Did you mean if hell freezes over?' 4. I heard Leo thought he had won an Oscar for Inception, but then he realized he was just dreaming. 5. The only way Leo can win an Oscar is if Steve Harvey is hosting. Thanks for bearing through that, much like Leonardo DiCaprio had

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Oscar came from a rough home... (from the r/baseball jokes thread) His dad was cruel, and an alcoholic. Oscar had to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide the bruises. And his mother wasn't better off. One fateful day, Oscar's mom made the soup too spicy, and dad started beating her with a cast iron skillet. Hearing his mother's screams and figuring this was worse than before, Oscar ran upstairs and called 911. After a particularly forceful strike with the skillet, dad went upstairs to check o

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A flea had oiled up his little flea legs... ...and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun, when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his. ""Oscar, what happened to you?"" asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. ""I got a ride down here in some guy's mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my wings off,"" whee

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Oscar Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs. Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem. When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson? Absolutely shocking news from South Africa. White man arrested for murder. Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed. I take it Osca

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