#madrid

The full time football result is in: Real Madrid - 4... Surreal Madrid - fish

Air Traffic Control joke Two pilots were talking in a bar. One asked the other what is the worst air traffic controlling he had experienced. He told the following story....We were coming into Madrid it was socked in with heavy fog and the ILS (Instrument Landing System) was out so we were getting talked down by their radar controller. He tells me I am on course and to begin my approach. He tells me when I am left or right high or low all the way down to minimums then he says the runway is ahead …

Redd Foxx Classics (not too dirty) - ""What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."" - ""I've realized the importance of black. If you want to know how important black is, go to Las Vegas and get some white chips and get some black chips. You could have 70 lbs of white chips and can't get out of town. You get 2 lbs of black chips, you can go to Madrid."" - ""We were poor. If I wasn't a boy, I wouldn't have had nothing to play with.""

As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. ""What's the problem fellow?"" asked his seat mate. ""Surely"" said the Englishman ""you've heard the saying 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'""

My little brother has just finish his first year studying architecture abroad. He is back home now and I was asking how he liked it as I had been through the same program as him a few years ago. He said it’s great, the food in Madrid is so nice and he loves seeing all the old buildings. He said that the only weird thing was that his final exam was very strange. “Oh?” I said “ In what way?” “Well, it was all normal until the end when they asked me ‘if you are working on a plan for a house th…

A man goes on Holiday in Madrid After exploring the Spanish country he decides to get a tattoo, and gets a bull on his arm. A few days later, he is on a tour with a guide, when the guide says "hey, that looks swollen," The man replies "really?! Do you know anywhere I can get treated?" The tour guide responds "yeah, I know a guy." The man says "I didn't know you had people so specialised," And the guide responds "of course, no one expects the Spanish ink physician"

I caught the flu in Madrid on a recent business trip. Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help. "Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!" The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stam…

A guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My company got bought out by a Madrid-based firm today," the guy tells the bartender. "Everyone was surprised." "Well," the bartender replies. "No one expects the Spanish acquisition."

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.

There was a string of murders recently in Madrid Every week

An American tourist stopped at a local restaurant while wandering around Madrid... While sipping his wine