#luke-skywalker

Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society.

"Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "Seems fine."

If I were Luke Skywalker it would have taken me about six minutes to turn R2-D2 into a bong.

"Owen, you must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker at all costs." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "That's cool."

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign? It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track? Yoda: off course, we are.

How come does Luke Skywalker does not have a girlfriend? He was looking for love in Alderaan places

I was thinking about where Luke Skywalker goes to buy his change of clothes while talking to my girlfriend. Me: I wonder where Luke Skywalker buys his clothes. Her: The Darth Maul. ;) I love my life.

I went for sushi with Luke Skywalker and he was struggling with chopsticks... ""Use the fork, Luke!"" I said.

Luke Skywalker is well on his way to completing his comic book collection... ...he's already got all the daddy issues.

After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister... He became best friends with hand solo.

Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber? Char-Jar Binks

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader were having a lightsaber battle... ...and Luke is getting demolished. He knows that unless he does something drastic, he's going to lose. So, thinking quickly, he says to his opponent, ""Darth Vader, I know what you're getting for Christmas."" Darth Vader hesitates for a moment and says, ""How do you know?"" Luke responds, ""I felt your presents.""

Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together? Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

Luke Skywalker and Yoda are on a ride when... **Luke**: *Are we on the right course, Master Yoda?*. **Yoda**: *Off course we are*.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker... ... are locked in mortal combat. Darth Vader pulls Luke close and says, ""I know what you're getting for Christmas"". Luke responds, ""How?! That's impossible!!!"" Darth Vader replies, ""I felt your presence""

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner... .... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 ""Oh I'm definitely ordering that!"" Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes. Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the chopsticks laid out on the table and digs straight in... sure enough it's as delicious as he hoped. But not being a chopstick pro, Luke ha…

Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force

In the vein of today's Star Wars announcement, a topical joke In a deleted scene from Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are fighting a duel to the death when suddenly Darth says to Luke: ""Not only am I your Father, but I also know what you're getting for Christmas!"" Taken aback by the change of subject and suspecting a trap, Luke replies cautiously: ""How could you possibly know what I'm getting for Christmas?"" Darth Vader: ""Because I've felt your presents...""

Luke Skywalker uses the Force. The Force uses Chuck Norris.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke's sister! Luke was obviously distraught! Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Ke…

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are on an epic fight... Suddenly, Vader stops swinging. He pulls Luke close to him, and says: *breathing sounds* "I know what you are getting for Christmas" "WHAT?? IT CAN'T BE! HOW?" *breathing sounds* "Because I have felt your presents"

So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in their final showdown... ...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a thing. Darth replies, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas." Slightly taken aback, Luke asks "How do you know that?…

I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire. I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.