#kirk

MacGregor the... An American tourist is visiting a picturesque Scottish village, when all of a sudden he hears someone crying. Looking around, he notices a Scotsman sitting on a bench bawling his eyes out. ""Hey, are you OK?"" The Scot looks up and sighs heavily. ""Listen, laddie,"" he says, ""d'ye see that hoose over thair?"" The tourist looks around. ""Sure, I see it."" ""I built that hoose with me own hands, but d'ye think they call me MacGregor the hoose-builder? Nooooo. And d'ye see that we…

Metallica got the foreign distribution rights for Clint Eastwood films Kirk was sitting in the mixing booth when Lars popped his head in and asked: ""Hey man, what are you doing""     Kirk replied:     Oh I dub the unforgiven

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands? Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What's a star trek fans favourite drink? Picardi and Kirk

Islamic Star Trek? The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General. As they talked, the Iranian said, ""I have just one question about what I have seen in America ."" The General said, ""Well, is there anything I can do to help?"" The Iranian whispered, ""My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russi…

The starship Enterprise encountered an alien race... Kirk asks ""What is your method of reproduction?"" A pair of aliens, happy to oblige, touched their antennae together, and soon a bud formed on the side of one. It slowly grew into a small replica of the alien, then fell off and started running around the room. The aliens ask ""How do you reproduce?"", so Kirk grabs Uhura and proceeds to demonstrate. ""Where's the baby?"" the aliens ask. Kirk replies, ""Well, with any luck, it'll be along in a…

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, ""I have just one question about what I have seen in America."" The General said, ""Well, anything I can do to help."" The Iranian whispered, ""My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, …

Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek? The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help" The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty…

The Iranian Ambassador The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America." The General said, "Well, anything I can do to help." The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish,…

Metallica walks into a restaurant... James orders a water. Kirk orders a water. Robert orders a water. Lars has a water. Waiter asks if they want anything in their water. James says... ...just ice for all.

What suicidal space creature did Kirk find on the Enterprise? A Tribble with troubles.

Why did Kirk and Spock march into the woman's restroom? They were boldly going where no man has gone before