#scotty

So Scotty on the USS.Enterprise is having trouble with the engines due to a missile shot. Scotty calls up to the bridge and asks Mr.Spock ""Mr.Spock the Engines are fire sir i can't give her anymore!"" So Mr.Spock suggest "" Ok Mr.Scott, reverse the polarity of the core field and add full power."" Mr.Scott asks back ""What good will that do?"" and Mr.Spock replies ""Well that is how we solve are problems every week.""

I'm opening up a pirate-themed restaurant. It'll serve breakfast food and beer, and it will be run by the guy who plays Scotty in the new Star Trek movies. It's called Simon Pegg's Eggs, Kegs & Peg Legs.

Be careful what you ask for! A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in a red convertible eyeing him and giggling. One of them called out, ""Hey, Scotty! What's worn under the kilt?"" He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, ""Ach, lass, are you SURE you want to know?"" Somewhat nervously, the blonde replied yes, she did really want to know. The Scotsman leaned closer and confided, ""Why, lass, nothin…

Islamic Star Trek? The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General. As they talked, the Iranian said, ""I have just one question about what I have seen in America ."" The General said, ""Well, is there anything I can do to help?"" The Iranian whispered, ""My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russi…

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, ""I have just one question about what I have seen in America."" The General said, ""Well, anything I can do to help."" The Iranian whispered, ""My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, …

Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek? The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help" The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty…

The Iranian Ambassador The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America." The General said, "Well, anything I can do to help." The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish,…

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise? He was looking for the Captain's log.

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he h…