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#jim-carrey

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Johnny on his first day of high school Johnny sat in a circle with the rest of his new classmates on his first day of high school. Teacher: Now kids we're going to play a game so we learn a bit about each other. We're going to go around the circle and each person is going to tell me their name, favourite animal and who they'd take on a dinner date. The kids begin to take turns describing tigers, turtles, ariana grande and jim carrey, until it gets to Johnny. Johnny: Hi my name's Johnny, my favou

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Thought I'd try writing bad monologue jokes today. Like Jay Leno bad. Russia says it will begin patrolling with nuclear submarines again for the first time in 20 years. Nuclear subs that are 20 years old? I didn't know Russia had Subway. In Texas, a husband and wife are blaming one another for sending ricin-laced letters to public officials. As the saying goes, ""In sickness and in SHE DID IT!"" Mass anti-government protests continued in Turkey over the weekend. The last time there was this much

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