Why ya going to the airport? **Jim Carrey**: ""Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?"" **Passenger**: ""How'd you guess?"" **Jim Carrey**: ""Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?"" **Passenger**: ""Aspen."" **Jim Carrey**: ""Mmm, California.. Beautiful.""   *Excerpt from Dumb and Dumber.*
[Pilot intercom] Me: "Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."
I'm flying to NYC today and I don't care what the flight attendant says, I will be using my seat cushion as a fartation device.
Just read that California leads the nation in depression cases and adultery. What a sad state of affairs.
I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849.
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