#hunter

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says "" Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?"" The second hunter says"" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."" The first hunter says "" There's this old transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see"". So they pick i…

Did you hear about the bear hunter? Well he was out hunting for bears one day and soon came across a large trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger the bear turned and began to speak to him! ""Isn't it better to talk than to shoot? What do you want? Let's negotiate the matter"" said the bear. Lowering his rifle in shock the hunter thought a second and then replied ""I want a fur coat.""

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said ""The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind."" They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the…

2 deer hunters 2 deer hunters go out one fall afternoon in to the forest to get in early for the evening hunt. After hours of hunting they finally kill a large buck. One of the men who was planning on using the bathroom at the campsite near their hunting area decides to take a dump in the woods. As he walks off the other hunter starts to field dress the deer when he thinks of the childish idea to place the intestines of the deer underneath his friend. using his sweet hunting sneak skills he …

Hunters in the Woods 'Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ''My friend is dead! What can I do?'' The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: ''Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'' There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, ''OK, now what?'

The big game hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. T…

A group of hunters gathered in the woods.. A group of hunters gathered around the campfire after a long, hard day in the woods. *"3"*, said one of the hunters, and the rest laughed. *"8"*, another said, and they laughed even more. Now, for one of the hunters, these numbers weren't very fun. He asks, *"Why is this fun?"*. The hunters look at each other, and the leader explained, *"Well, you see son, instead of having to say the jokes to each other we've assigned* numbers *to them."* He looks at …

Little boy and his grampa So, a little boy is sitting with his great-grandfather, who used to be a big game hunter in his formidable years. "Gramps, tell me a story about your days as a big game hunter" said the boy. "Whaaaa?" replied his grandfather "TELL ME A STORY ABOUT WHEN YOU USED TO HUNT BIG GAME!" yells the boy. "Oh... okay, let's see, sonny. Well, one time out I was out in the African bush looking for gazelle, when all of a sudden BOOM, a huge lion flies out from the underbrush a…

There are two hunters Suddenly one of them collapses. He appears not to be breathing and his eyes glaze over. The other hunter panics and 911. The hunter says "I think my friend is dead! What do I do?" The operator says "Calm down. First, make sure he's dead." A gunshot is heard on the other line. The hunter says, "Okay now what.?"

Hunting overload! Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk, But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind." One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It wa…

Two hunters are in a forest. They come across a very deep hole and one hunter says to the other "How deep is that?" They both find a rusty anvil and throw it in. The anvil falls so far that the hunters don't hear it hit the bottom but then they see a goat sprinting past them and jump into the hole. They stand by the hole thinking about what just happened until a farmer comes along. The farmer says "Have you seen my goat Becky?" The hunters reply, "Yeah, it ran passed us and jumped into that hol…

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him c…

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

Two Hunters One cool November morning, two hunters take their biggest buck ever. As yhey struggled dragging the monster buck back to their pickup, they were stopped by a game warden.He asked to see their hunting licenses.Assured that all was in order, the game warden wished them a good day, but offered some advice..."If you men would pull from the front legs, instead of the back legs, the buck will glide easier in the leaves instead of going against the grain of fur. "The hunters thanked the ga…

Two guys out hunting, one has a heart attack and falls dead. Second guy calls 911. ​ Hunter: My friend just died of a heart attack! ​ Dispatcher: Calm down, first make absolutely sure he's dead. ​ Hunter: Okay hold on... \*BANG\* Okay now what?

A dumb guy visits a hunting club and asks a hunter how he killed his first buck. The hunter says he got his gun

Two hunters are in a forest. They come across a very deep hole and one hunter says to the other ""How deep is that?"" They both find a rusty anvil and throw it in. The anvil falls so far that the hunters don't hear it hit the bottom but then they see a goat sprinting past them and jump into the hole. They stand by the hole thinking about what just happened until a farmer comes along. The farmer says ""Have you seen my goat Becky?"" The hunters reply