#emo-philips

Walking across the Golden Gate bridge, I saw a man about to jump... Walking across the Golden Gate bridge, I saw a man about to jump, so I approached him and said, ""Don't jump!"" And he said, ""I've got nothing to live for and no one cares about me in the slightest."" So I replied, ""You're forgetting about God."" The man said, ""I used to believe in God."" I said, ""That's good. Were you a Christian or a Jew?"" He said, ""Christian."" I said, ""Me too! Were you protestant or Catholic?"" He sai…

A man wants to jump off a bridge... (This joke is courtesy of Emo Philips) I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said ""Stop! Don't do it!"" ""Why shouldn't I?"" he said. ""Well, there's so much to live for!"" ""Like what?"" ""Well... are you religious?"" He said yes. I said, ""Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"" ""Christian."" ""Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant? ""Protestant."" ""Me too! Are you Episcopalian …

I caught a big fish! I was going to mount it, but there were people around! Source: Emo Philips

One of my favorite Emo Philips jokes: ""Guy on the Bridge"" w/ some other good jokes by Emo Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, ""Don't do it!"" He said, ""Nobody loves me."" I said, ""God loves you. Do you believe in God?"" He said, ""Yes."" I said, ""Are you a Christian or a Jew?"" He said, ""A Christian."" I said, ""Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"" He said, ""Protestant."" I said, ""Me, too! What franchise?"" He said, ""Baptist."" I said, ""Me, too! Northern Baptist or So…