#edwards

Old School Pirate Crime Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that will mark the location of the unbound riches of their future. A well known calligrapher lived in the area and Clumsy Edward knew just how to get their much-needed red ink! ""Put y…

The NSA is bracing itself for what could be the single largest data leak in history. Rumors are circulating about the possibility of thousands of whistleblowers stepping forward in unison across the Northeast in the next few days. CNN reports, ""This time tomorrow, there will be thousands of Edward's snowed in.""

Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you, fella?", asks the cop. "Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!" Edward replies. The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key", Edward replies. At this point the cop looks down to see that Edwards p*nis is hanging out of his trousers. The cop asks Edward , "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself? Edwar…