#doctors-office

[Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. "Is it bad, doc?" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Doctor's Office] Doctor: The bad news is you have 3 months to live. Me: What's the good news? Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

[Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*

[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE

A Young Brunette Goes into the Doctor's Office A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. ""Impossible"" says the doctor, ""show me"". She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on. The doctor says, ""You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde"". She says ""Yes, doctor"". ""I thought so."" the doctor says, then continues: ""…

*Ronda Rousey in the Doctors office* Ronda: I'm having trouble getting pregnant Doctor: Stop taking it in the jaw

A Man walks into the Doctor's Office... He tells the doctor he is in pain. He keeps touching every part of his body and says that no matter where he touches himself he feels pain. The doctor tells him: ""You broke your finger""

Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue

A Man Walks Into A Doctor's Office A man walks into a doctor's office. He says ""Doctor, you gotta help me, I keep thinking I'm a moth!"" The doctor looks confused and says ""Well, why the hell did you come in here? I'm a cardiologist, not a psychologist."" The man says ""I know! The light was on...""

A smart doctor joke A redhead walks into the Doctor's office and says, ""Doctor, please help me....I ache all over"". The Doctor says, ""really, let me see if I can help...show me where it hurts"". The redhead points down to her knee, pokes it and screams in pain. The Doctor nods, takes some notes and asks...""Anwhere else?"". The girl points to her head, taps her skull and lets out a squeal of pain. The doctor raises his eyebrows, nods a bit, and says...""Hmmm..that is interesting....where else…

Man walks into the Doctor's office.... ""Doc, you gotta help me! I can't stop singing *Delilah*!"" he says. ""Hmm, sounds like Tom Jones disease"" replies the Doctor. ""Is it common?"", the man asks, with a fearful look on his face. ""It's Not Unusual.""

An elderly woman visiting her Doctor While at the Doctors office she starts talking about how depressed she had been ever since her husband had passed. She asks the Doctor ""if you were going to end it all how would you do it?"" The Doctor puzzled about the question but can see the pain in her weepy eyes. He replies ""oh I don't know, I guess a shotgun to the heart would guaranty the outcome."" The Doctor finishes up the exam and the elderly woman is released by the Nurse. On the way out the eld…

Doctor's Office Visit The doctor asked me how my bowel movements have been lately, I told him very dark. He asked me to describe so I said, ""every time i look into the bowl, it spells out 'DIE'""

A man walks into a Doctor's office screaming, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee!"" The Doctor Says, ""You're too Tense""

Gay man on a bus So this gay man is on the bus. A REALLY hot guy gets on the bus, the gay man gets all WOOO I am in love, or at least lust! A couple of blocks later the Really hot guy gets off the bus, the Gay man follows him. The Really hot man walks into a medical office building, gay man follows, into the elevator, follows... Third floor, both off the elevator, the really hot man walks into a Doctor's office, and is followed. The front office person says ""good morning Dr Johnson"" The gay ma…

"Tom Jones Syndrome" A man is in the waiting room at his Doctor's office and finally, the Doc arrives. "Hello Jim what seems to be the problem today?" Jim replies "Doc, you've gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady' by Tom Jones!" The Doc says "oh yes, that is 'Tom Jones Syndrome'" "Is it common?" Jim asks "Well it's not unusual" First post.

A Gorgeous Young Redhead Goes into the Doctor’s Office... She said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor took off his glasses and said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you? “Well, no” she said,…

Having had seriously bad breath for most of his adult life, Larry finally goes to see a Doctor about it. The Doctor examines Larry, takes samples of his saliva, tooth plaque and does a tongue swab. He asks Larry to return Tuesday for the test results. Tuesday, Larry is sitting in the Doctor's office, hopeful for a cure. "Larry", says the Doc, "Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon at 50 paces. And yet none of the tests or my examination can indicate why." "Is there nothing I ca…

A Jewish man and a Vietnamese man waiting in the doctor's office. A Vietnamese man and a Jewish man are waiting in the Doctor’s office for an appointment and as the time goes on they become more and more irritated until finally the Jewish man says

Doctor's Office There was a girl that came into the doctor's office.

A Gorgeous Young Redhead Goes into the Doctor’s Office... She said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

Tom Jones fever A man is in the waiting room at his Doctor's office and finally