#dans

When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"

[Long] Two best friends reunite... Dan, a former alcoholic gets a random call from his best friend from college, Bobby. ""Dan, I'm in town! We haven't seen each other in a minute. Meet me at the bar in an hour."" Dan tells his wife he is going to meet Bobby, and is warned not to drink any alcohol because of their previous relationship problems involving his alcoholism. Bobby and Dan hit it off like old times. They begin slamming shots, shooting pool and partying as hard as they did in college. I…

Dan's Lip ""How'd you get that cut on your lip?"" Said Joe to Dan. ""Well, that's a hell of a story!"" Dan replied. ""You see, two weeks ago I kissed my girl goodbye, and took off backpacking in the Rocky Mountains. Only a few hours into my trek, I was charged by a furious grizzly bear."" ""Holy cow!"" Joe said. ""You were lucky to get away with just a busted lip!"" ""Nah, I just blasted him with pepper spray and he ran off into the bush."" ""Then what happened to your lip?"" ""I'm getting to th…

Farmers and their Pig Old, long winded, and immature. But, I always laugh at it Three farmers had been competing at the state fair for several years now for the biggest pig contest. Each year though all three farmers would lose to a pig from another county. So, Farmer John calls farmer Brown and Farmer Dan over to his house one day. Farmer John had the idea that the reason each one of them lost separately was because neither of them had a farm with enough food to feed their respective pigs, so t…