#boeing

A kid boards a flight for the first time in his life Kid: What kind of flight is this mom? Mom: Boeing Kid: I'm boarding a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing, Boeing Mom: Be silent you idiot Kid: I'm oarding an oeing, oeing, oeing, oeing P.S: Based on a true incident

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane? A boeing constrictor

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

An old man calls in to a radio station during a contest... ""Welcome to 99.5 The Lounge, you're on the air. We're currently holding our annual quiz contest; answer any of three questions right, and you'll win $500. You ready?"" ""That I am."" ""All right, let's begin. The first question is... What has four wheels and travels on roads?"" ""That would be a car, right?"" ""Almost, but not quite. The answer we were looking for is 'a Toyota Prius.' You still have two more chances for that $500, so it…

How many Eminem's can fit in a Boeing 747? One. All the other slim shadys are just imitating. -------------------------- Not original but from https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/3qgcf1/we_are_the_wolframalpha_team_ask_us_anything/cwewk0k Credit to u/Dracin

What is the national bird of Afghanistan? The Boeing 757

Engine failure A Boeing 747 was having trouble with the engines. The pilots called the cabin crew and asked them to prepare the cabin for an emergency landing. After a while, the pilots call back and ask if the cabin is secure. The flight attendant replies ""Yes, captain. But there are some lawyers walking around handing out business cards""

Boeing 787 The Boeing 787 Dreamliner has had so many leaks from the fuel and oils on board that they are re-naming it the Wet Dreamliner! C.H.

The FAA is reviewing the new Boeing Dreamliner... it might get thrown under the airbus.

So a kid gets on a plane for the first time and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying ""Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."" After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy ""Be Silent"". So the boy starts ""Oeing.. Oeing.. Oeing.. ""

Air and Space Museum So a 5 year old boy is walking around in the air and space museum, but he doesn't seem to be having a good time. Naturally, his mom asks him what's bothering him, and he responds: "Mom, it's just too boeing."

Why can’t pilots play violin? Because they always have Boeing issues

I would make a Boeing joke But I'm afraid it will fall apart.

Lesotho, a country in Africa has the second lowest average life expectancy in the world at 50 years. The record for lowest average life expectancy is held by Boeing whistleblowers.

There was a friendly soccer match between the employees of Boeing and Airbus. How did the referee die? He blew the whistle at the end so Boeing killed him.

Ddi you hear Boeing has adopted a new corporate motto? "When one door closes, another one opens."

I'd tell you the one about the Boeing 737... But it's a joke that just doesn't fly these days.

A group of Boeing employees are sitting on a plane getting ready for takeoff. The pilot comes on over the intercom and says "Folks, we're pleased to have you flying with us on our brand new 737, fresh from our good friends at Boeing!" Immediately, the Boeing employees all scramble to get out of their seats and off the plane as quickly as possible. It's utter pandemonium in the aisles as everyone starts to panic. Everyone, that is, except for one old man, who remains sitting in his seat, quiet …

Boeing is selling its planes at a major discount right now.,. They're having a door-buster sale!

Boeing is now making golf clubs Very likely to get a hole in one!

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes? This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me: *A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing". The pilot, …

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground? Boeing.

What noise does a aeroplane make when it bounces? Boeing

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces on a trampoline? Boeing

What sound does a 747 make when it lands? Boeing! Boeing! Boeing!