An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

Bank loan A frog walked into a loan office to ask for a loan and the loan officers name was Mr. Paddywack. Mr. Paddywack asked for collatoral as they always did and the frog said, ""I only have this little porcelin elephant."" The loan officer had said that it wasn't really collatoral, but he would ask his manager. The frog added ""oh yeah, and my dad is Mick Jagger."" The loan officer went to his manager and said, ""There is a frog out there who only has a small porcelin elephant, and he mentio…

A lazy son's father comes home... ... And tells him son, who is laying on the couch all day:""Son, I talked to one of my friends and I have managed to get you a job!"" ""But dad..."" says his son ""I don't want to work, it's way too hard."". His father respons:""That's the good thing about it! It's the easiest job ever: You will work as a security guard at the old cemetery. All you have to do is sit behind the gate and wait till 4 o'clock and you will also get a lot of money for it."". ""Well...…

A man and a woman had been married a very, very long time They kept absolutely no secrets from each other except a small shoe box the woman cautioned the man to never open. The wife was dying, and very close to meeting her maker, so she told the man to go get the box. Opening it, he found $100,000 dollars.m and two crocheted dolls. Astonished, he asked, ""What is this?"" The wife said, ""When we married, my mother told me the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue. So every time, I got an…