A man marries a Jewish woman, and for their honeymoon they go to Israel. The mother-in-law insists that she come along. Reluctantly, the couple allows her along the trip. After only two days, the mother-in-law has a heart attack and dies. The daughter is so distraught that the husband is left to make all the funeral arrangements by himself. He's sitting in the undertaker's office when he walks back in. ""Well,"" says the undertaker, ""I've got some bad news. If you want to ship the body back to …

Lawyer joke The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is many millions of dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?. The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is…

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - ""to relax,"" I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I…

Some jokes and quotes from an archive ================================================== > Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. > ==================================================== > Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. > ===================================================== > Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband ! > ==========================================…