The longest joke in the world From: http://longestjokeintheworld.com/ So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no…

Pope Francis gets a new car. He's in Chicago for an appearance. His regular car is obviously not there and due to some mixup all they have is a huge SUV. When Francis sees this beast he thinks for a second. ""Hey, I've been kind of curious about these things. Do you mind if I drive?"" What are you supposed to say when the Pope asks that? ""Sure thing,"" says the driver. He hops in back and Francis gets behind the wheel. Francis is a little unused to all that engine power so they're lurching arou…

Pink Cottonballs Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Johnny. At first he was a happy, normal boy, but then one day, before his 3rd birthday, his parents asked him what he wanted for his present. ""I want pink cottonballs,"" said Little Johnny. ""No way,"" said his parents, a little concerned by the odd request, ""you're much too young for something like that!"" And so they got him a Big Wheel tricycle. Little Johnny was furious, and so he took the tricycle up to the top of the big hil…

Flood A man hears that a flood will happen. He goes to the attic, with one window to look out on. He starts to pray with god. **Man:** Oh god, can you please rescue me from Satan's flood? **God:** Of course you can get rescued! The flood by now flooded a quarter of the first floor. An SUV pulls up on the driveway. **SUV Driver**: Hop in if you want to live! **Man:** No thanks, God will rescue me. The SUV drives off. A half hour passes. The flood starts to reach the attic. A raft wades into the s…