Clocks in Heaven A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. ""Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell a lie, the second hand moves once."" She is amazed at this and goes looking. She finds Mother Theresa's clock and notices it's moved three times. George Washington's clock hasn't moved at…

Heaven's Clocks A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. ""Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell a lie, the second hand moves once."" She is amazed at this and goes looking. She finds Mother Theresa's clock and notices it's moved three times. George Washington's clock hasn't moved at …

An angel walks in to God's office while He's creating the world... and sees God drawing on his notepad a roundish thing with two eyes, a nose and a mouth. The angel says ""Hi God, what are you doing?"" ""I'm working on the human being,"" says God, ""But that's not due until the sixth day, today's only the third!"" ""I know, I'm just planning a head!""

Nah, I'll do it tomorrow... Every day this cute girl sits next to me on the bus. She has a great smile, sparkling eyes, ass like pow, chest like bang. Whenever she sits next to me I can hardly think straight, breathing gets harder, I break a sweat. Every day I think to myself: ""I'm going to talk to her."" So I gather all my courage, I look at her she looks back at me, I feel the tension rising... but I look away and think to myself: ""Nah, I'll do it tomorrow..."" Before I know it it's the next…